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  • I have come back

    Sorry for not blogging recently, but cardiologist was determined to keep me in hospital and deny me access to any computer, even the one that contains all the patient files.

    So here I am, again, at home and a little worried, but hey its OK . I'm told i should live till I'm 75

  • Graham Handley

    Graham Handley got the surprise of his life when he discovered a Polish immigrant sleeping beside him in his bed instead of his wife.

    Graham Handley from Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire told the police that he did not noticed his wife Linda, getting out off the bed to sleep with their eight-year-old son Adam, in another room.

    He said he was roused from his sleep by the sound of someone getting under the sheets.

    Handley said he was surprised when he greeted his wife, the reply came in a deep baritone and in a foreign tongue. It was at this point the he leapt out of bed to determine who was sleeping beside him.

    It was believed the Polish immigrant, who lived in a nearby street, got confused because of exhaustion after a late work shift.

    He entered the Handley home through an unlocked back door, took off his shoes, ate a large chocolate cake from the kitchen and then went to sleep in Graham's bed.

    The 45-year-old Graham told the The Clarion "He wouldn't get up for anyone. He told the police to go away and they were standing there laughing. Then a big burly officer came and took him downstairs."

    Linda adds, "Graham woke me up and said there was a man in bed with him. I thought he was dreaming and told him not to be stupid."

    Police had issued a warning against the 25-year-old Polish man to not to repeat the incident.

  • "Your daughter is pregnant."

    A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant."

    The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would not compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

    The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"

    "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. I was hoping that they would show up again."

  • Things are bad

    You know things are bad when the police have to go cap in hand to the parish council requesting funding to buy a bicycle. This follows a previous request by police in Ilkley when they needed funds to buy a mobile phone.

    Funding for the mobile phone was eventually granted but was met with a barrage of criticism at the time. So God knows how the locals will take the news that the cops want a pushbike!

  • Judith Chalmers And Fishing

    Can anyone tell me: Why has Judith Chalmers gone from white to black? Her face looks like its been through a trawlers fishing net!

  • Seems I've been silenced

    On Thursday February 1 2007 I published a one line comment regarding the Muslim faith. Since then my inbox has over flowed, thankfully from most right minded people. In 5 of the 107 e-mails It was suggested that this blog should be taken down "As it was an insult to Muslims" and their faith. I have to say now, I have no intention of insulting anyone or anything, but rather than allow free speech, last time i looked the UK was a free country, these same, single minded people have the audacity to to comment when 90% of them are here in the UK Illegally.

    Ive said it before and will say it again The UK is a free country. If a free and democratic society offends some faiths, then they know what to do.. leave.

    And if this means removing this blog, so be it. It will mean that the democratic society we all voted for has failed.

    and yes: you can send me e-mail wilkinson_pete@hotmail.com

  • PRAYER AXE 'ABSURD POLITICAL CORRECTNESS'

    Scrapping Christian prayers before council meetings in Totnes has been branded "absurd town hall political correctness".The Herald Express reported yesterday that the ancient tradition led by a local vicar had been axed by councillors, and replaced with a "quiet moment of reflection" to be "sensitive" to other peoples' needs.

    Disappointment has already been expressed at the move, and there has been further criticism from national Tory politicians.

    Shadow Local Government spokesman Eric Pickles said: "This is a deeply troubling move, which I hope other councils will not be foolish enough to follow.

    "Such absurd political correctness serves to undermine community cohesion and tolerance towards all religions.

    "The Lord's Prayer is an important part of the religious and cultural fabric of our nation."

    Totnes is one of the oldest boroughs in the country and dates back more than 600 years.

    Until now prayers have been said at the beginning of each of the monthly town council meetings with the local vicar of varying Christian denominations praying with the councillors for God's help in coming to the correct decisions.

    The short sessions often came complete with a communal rendition of the Lord's Prayer.

    The majority of South Devon councils do hold prayers at the start of full council meetings.

  • lets get rid of muslims

    out of the uk.. they are takin over the globe

  • ALFRED BADINI. tries the scam

    I suppose everyone on the Internet has at some point had a scam delivered to their inbox or junk mail at some point. The 419 Scams of Nigeria for example. Well..for some reason i have been receiving more than 10 per day and all from Nigeria! and all offering me Millions in US dollars: I prefer ; UK Pound Sterling at the moment. So take a look at this site: http://www.419eater.com/html/letters.htm its hilarious. I wonder why they always type in capitals!

    FROM MR. ALFRED BADINI.
    BANQUE INTERNATIONALE DU BURKINA (BIB)
    1340, AVENUE DIMDOLOBSOM,
    OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

    DEAR FRIEND,

    I AM MR. ALFRED BADINI THE FOREIGN EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT OF BANQUE
    INTERNATIONALE DU BURKINA (BIB) OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.

    I HAVE URGENT AND VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSITION FOR YOU. ON
    SEPTEMBER 4, 2001, MR. WERNER KARL RUDDIGKEIT, A GERMAN NATIONALITY, AN OIL
    CONSULTANT/
    CONTRACTOR WITH SAUDI ARABIA PETROLEUM CORPORATION/CPL BURKINA FASO. MR.
    WERNER KARL RUDDIGKEIT MADE A NUMBERED TIME (FIXED DEPOSIT) FOR 26 CALENDAR
    MONTHS, VALUED AT USD $26,000,000.00 (TWENTY-SIX MILLION UNITED STATES
    DOLLARS ONLY) WITH THIS BANK.

    UPON MATURITY IN 2004, I SENT A ROUTINE NOTIFICATION TO HIS FORWARDING
    ADDRESS BUT GOT NO REPLY. AFTER A MONTH, WE SENT A REMINDER AND FINALLY WE
    DISCOVERED FROM HIS CONTRACT EMPLOYERS, SHELL PETROLEUM DEVELOPMENT COMPANY
    IN SAUDI ARABIA THAT MR. WERNER KARL RUDDIGKEIT WAS INVOLVED IN AN AUTO
    CRASH VEHICLE AND UNFORTUNATELY LOST HIS LIVE.

    ON FURTHER INVESTIGATION, I FOUND OUT THAT HE DIED WITHOUT MAKING A WILL,
    AND ALL ATTEMPTS TO TRACE HIS NEXT OF KIN WAS FRUITLESS, FOR THE FACT THAT
    HIS DIVORCED WIFE DIED IN MAY 2000, FOR THEY HAD NO CHILD TO SUCCEED HIM. I
    THEREFORE MADE FURTHER INVESTIGATION AND DISCOVERED THATLATE MR WERNER KARL
    RUDDIGKEIT DID NOT DECLARE ANY NEXT OF KIN OR RELATIONS IN ALL HIS OFFICIAL
    DOCUMENTS, INCLUDING HIS BANK DEPOSIT PAPERWORK IN MY BANK. THIS SUM OF USD
    $26, 000, 000.00 HAVE BEEN FLOATING AS UNCLAIMED SINCE 2001 IN THIS BANK AS
    ALL EFFORTS TO GET HIS RELATIVES HAVE HITS THE STONE. ACCORDING TO THE
    BURKINA FASO LAW AT THE EXPIRATION OF 10
    (TEN) YEARS, THE MONEY WILL REVERT TO THE OWNERSHIP OF THE BURKINA
    GOVERNMENT IF NOBODY APPLIES TO CLAIM THE FUND.

    SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN LOCATING THE RELATIVES FOR OVER 2 YEARS
    NOW, I SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN / WILL
    BENEFICIARY TO THE DECEASED SO THAT THE PROCEEDS OF THIS ACCOUNT VALUED AT
    USD $26,000,000.00 CAN BE PAID TO YOU. THIS WILL BE DISBURSED OR SHARED IN
    THESE PERCENTAGES, 50% TO ME, 40% TO YOU AND 10% WILL BE FOR THE
    REIMBURSEMENT OF ANY EXPENSES THAT MAY INVOLVE DURING THE PROCURING ALL THE
    REQUIRED INHERITANCE CLAIM CERTIFICATES IN YOUR NAME LEGALLY/TRANSFERRING
    PROCESSING OF THIS FUND IN YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT.

    ALL NECESSARY LEGAL DOCUMENTS THAT CAN BE USED TO BACK UP ANY CLAIM MUST BE
    OBTAIN LEGALLY IN YOUR NAME. ALL I REQUIRE IS YOUR HONEST CO-OPERATION,
    CONFIDENTIALITY AND TRUST TO ENABLE US SEE THIS TRANSACTION THROUGH. I
    GUARANTEE YOU THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT AND
    THIS IS RISK FREE TRANSACTION AND I ASSURE YOU THAT IT WILL PROTECT YOU FROM
    ANY BREACH OF THE LAW.

    PLEASE PROVIDE ME WITH THE FOLLOWING:
    {1} YOUR NAME OR COMPANY'S NAME
    (2) FULL ADDRESS,
    {3} YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS
    {4} YOUR PROFFESION
    {5} YOUR VALID ID/ PASSPORT PHOTO
    [6] YOUR AGE

    YOUR URGENT RESPONSE WILL BE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED AND APPRECIATED.
    BEST REGARDS,
    MR. ALFRED BADINI.

  • Enough is enough gay rights have gone too far.

    Enough is enough gay rights have gone too far.

    Church groups are to challenge in court gay rights legislation that would make it illegal for hotels to turn away guests because of their sexuality. The sexual orientation regulations (Sors) have united religious groups who argue that the law has already gone too far. It is still part of the faith of some Christians, Muslims and Jews that homosexuality is a sin and they fear that further attempts to appease a gay minority will discriminate against religious ones. Do you agree with the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Birmingham who says that the Government is "aggressively reshaping our moral framework" - or is further legislation necessary?
    I have to agree with the church… its time for the odd couples to get back in the closet.

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